She's JV to your varsity
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
