I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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