Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize