I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize