who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
