Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
