have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
