that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
