talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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