that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just had sex on a roof
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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