with your own penis?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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