I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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