Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
