no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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