grandma shit on top of the toilet
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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