Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
