u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
