Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
