At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
