i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
