Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
