She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
