woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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