u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Randomize
