the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize