You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
