they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
