he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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