...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
