i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
