talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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