We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
