i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
