I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
