guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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