just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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