I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
