I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
