Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
do herpes really smell.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
