How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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