Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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