Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you inspire me to be a worse person
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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