Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize