Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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