yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
