I bet he comes in French.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
