I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
