I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
