ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
