so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
