my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
