let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Randomize
