I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
