You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
A bitchslap is in order.
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