it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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