Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize