Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
