a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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