Sponge bath it is.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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