It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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