he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
