I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
