I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize