Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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