We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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