Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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