Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
