As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
