glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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