I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
